This is a very interesting question, and one that goes to the core of Yowie social interaction.

Much like an Italian might inherit Nonna’s recipe, and protect it with ferocity, Yowies too protect theirs. In this instance their ragu so to speak is the famous Yowie dish ‘dried dog poo on a stick’ or in Yowie dialect “crottes de chien séchées sur un bâton” or often shortened to ‘crotbaton‘

To answer the question briefly, if I could instantly master one skill, it would be to make the perfect crotbaton. However to get a bit creative with the answer, I have decided to provide my recipe.

I hope Yowies and cryptids alike are encouraged to drop their recipes and any recommended adjustments in the comments down below!

The Recipe

The recipe I use, like Nonna would hand down to Italians, was given to me by the late Kanzi, a noted chef specialising in Bonobo cuisine. He was awarded two Michelin stars at his eatery ‘Yow-Oui’. He is most known for replacing George Calombaris on Masterchef Australia.

This is a reference image of Kanzi for how crotbaton should look.

The first step, like all good recipes, comes to ingredients. There really is only two main ingredients. The ‘baton’, or stick, and the ‘crot’, or poo. Of course good quality EVO, butter and basic seasonings are also highly recommended.

In a traditional sense, and as Kanzi always said to me, crotbaton must be made with dog poo. However modern interpretations use an array of droppings, especially in regions where dog poo may be scarce. I have seen it with lamb, ox, guinea pig and even human poo.

For this recipe, I am keeping it traditional with some free-range high quality Shih Tzu shit from Tibet.

Next comes the stick. This bit is non-negotiable, even by my multicultural standards. Crotbaton simply MUST use eucalyptus as its stick. The oils contained in this stick is vital to the overall flavour profile to this dish. This is like adding garlic to an Italian dish that doesn’t need it MARONE!

Ingredients:

1 x Dog Poo

Preparation and Cooking:

1. Season dog poo with salt, pepper, extra virgin olive oil and L.A Ice.
2. Put room temperature dog poo on the charcoals of a fire.
3. Cook until white (it will look the same as the charcoal.)
4. Remove dog poo from flame NOTE: Do not let it cool down before commencing the next step.
5. Put molten hot dog poo on stick like it is a shish kebab (you may want to wear oven mitts for this)
6. Serve with your favourite salad
7. Enjoy a life changing experience!

Thanks everyone for following along for Kanzi’s world famous Crotbaton. Not to sound too stubborn but I doubt anyone did it better than Kanzi, but like I said I am happy for everyone to share their version of this now modern staple in the comments below!