YOWIEHUB

The word ‘yowie’ means for me not a point of departure but a genuine point of arrival. The point of departure is defined by the word ‘order’. Freedom cannot exist without the concept of order.

Mein Politisches Testament (1880) – Klemens Wenzel Nepomuk Lothar, Prince of Metternich-YowieWinneburg zu Beilstein, Chancellor of the Yowie Austrian Empire

Mein Politisches Testament (1880) – Klemens Wenzel Nepomuk Lothar, Prince of Metternich-YowieWinneburg zu Beilstein, Chancellor of the Yowie Austrian Empire

If Olympus were to drop the world from his shoulders, the smashed remnants could be swept to leave behind four words: freedom, govern, exploitation and power. With the mass changes occurring in global society these four tenets have been challenged. It is now time to add a fifth which soon may surpass the rest: yowie. The many schools of international relations theory; realist, liberal, constructivist and Marxist all claim difference to one another, but fundamentally they all rely on the four key tenets. All arguments can be boiled down into disagreements over which of the four is emphasised or reconceptualised and decontextualized over others. Despite the many pages spent dedicated to thought between the schools, no mainstream thinker until this point has taken it upon themselves to question: is there any other way to look at the world? With the global status quo collapsing around us perhaps now is a prudent time to suggest for the world to be viewed upside down, from the bottom up. This essay aims to challenge the established status quo by applying a new lens of understanding onto politic, one of yowie origins.

Yowie sociological studies had, until recently, been a dormant field of academia. A current op-ed piece published on independent research forum yowiehub.com by thought leader Fernydog, is unquestionably responsible for revitalising interest in the field. On 04/03/2025 Fenydog published: ‘Yowie’s and how they write. A Short handed Love Story (written in Yowie)’, which illustrated how Yowies wrote from the bottom up. The piece was an instant success, gathering viral engagement (6 likes). Fernydog’s work reconceptualised antiquated views of Yowie society by shining light on an individualistic story. The author’s brave choice to initially write the piece in Yowie was evidently effective and it has since led to multiple academics and theorists discussing yowie concepts. The post-modern Yowie discussion was most effectively formalised through Boof’s seminal piece ‘An Anthropological Response: Yowie’s and how they write. A Short handed Love Story’. Boof argued that it was not only writing structure that was from the bottom up, but also Yowie society as a whole. Additionally, Boof successfully brought in the missing piece into Fernydog’s original arguments; historical context. By providing much needed insight into the origins of the argument it is now possible to more clearly apply the yowie school of thought to a multitude of fields. It is the intent of this contribution to the discussion to bring yowie as a lens to modern society. 

Picture a train. The average commuter spends a moment of solitude on public transport consumed in their own world. There is a key juxtaposition between the individual’s isolation and the infrastructure which is public. Now expand this train to be the world as it stands today, although it has been claimed by states it is still available to the public. The earth moves through the solar system, which moves through the galaxy, which moves through the universe. Like a train, it traverses a defined loop around the sun. We as people, are passengers on this vessel, and it can therefore be interpreted as infrastructure. So we can consider the earth as a train moving through stations of the galaxy. As it passes by, the environment changes massively but we as individuals, relatively speaking do not. Individuals still exist within relative isolation within this piece of ‘infrastructure’. Now imagine if an eight foot tall yowie got onto that train. That would really change things up.

For the yowie, the train, or society is the changing environment. They live in a society that runs in the opposite direction to ours. Humans ride trains to get off at places on earth. Yowies ride the earth to get off at the train.

As the great scholar REDACTED said:

“There once was a self-proclaimed wise man who tried to correct the banana. He developed a straight mould, pumped his fists into his chest and claimed he’d fix their bend. As he tried and tried to put a bent banana through a square hole, all he created was bruised perfection and a tattered ego.

Fernydog also had the idea for train carriages where you purposefully speak to others. However, this theory runs contrary to his other works and will therefore be disregarded. I am also ignoring his past works because he once dropped a JBL speaker on my head at a Yowie Academic Gala. I was holding a goonie and getting people to participate in the geteminya campaign, but as I walked out the door to the back yard a speaker he pithed in the air came crashing into my cranium. Come to think of, more recently he even got me to pick up the same speaker that he dropped on my head from a hostel that he left it at because he was answering a booty call. Bloody dog. But I digress.

The international order has supposedly been defined by rules, and in the current climate we can see that these norms exist only as suggestions. They offer no real mandate. Recommendations of the status quo have only enabled individuals to seize the system and disregard any established ‘norms’, with the intent of creating their own.

If, hypothetically the collective was not only prioritised but had authority over the individual a solid system of order could be established. We should therefore learn from the organisation of Yowie society, for they have flourished in peace for millennia. The only moments of yowie society collapse, (the 2008 global financial crisis caused by Yowie short term housing bonds, and the debatable widespread protest following Kanzi’s incarceration) was encouraged by the now widely condemned coalition of Yowie ‘reformers’, Tony Yowbbot and John Yoward. This moment of Yowie society collapse acts to reinforce the benefit of observing and implementing elements of the Yowie style ‘bottom-up’ society into our own.

-Pictued John Yoward and Tony Yowbbot, Dorrigo National Park

The ‘reformers’ aimed to push Yowie society in the direction of human global order, imagining it would be good for banana trickle down. They also attempted to privatise much of Yowie society, despite essential services like CentreYowie and MediBanana being relied upon by countless at-risk Yowies. This push for humanification had dire unforeseen consequences, when individualism came clashing with established societal norms of Yowie. It is impossible for anything to trickle down in a bottom up society. Greed and opulence led to collapse, which eventually resulted in the public execution of Yowbbot and posthumous execution of Yoward

Why Can’t I just eat my waffle?

– Barrack Obama (Attempting to eat a waffle while browsing yowiehub. He then got distracted by my mate Jordan losing the ability to use his legs due to consuming too much ‘boo

Although ending in failure, lessons can be learned from the reformers attempt to change established norms. In Yowie society it was impossible to apply trickle down economics theory to a bottom up society. From this, one can take that there are fundamentals of society that are incompatible with others. Just as a human would shudder at the thought of a shit-ridden nappy wearer calling the shots, we too must expect Yowies shudder at our suggestion. This is a rule, which can act as a basis for global order. With a realisation of wealth’s trickle upwards (as it does in Yowie society), greater benefit to a larger collective of society can be realised. If society were to be changed in this way, there are of course considerations for impacts into a every other field. This piece worked to act as a catalyst for wider application of yowie bottom up theory as a societal framework for the future.

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