On Thursday 23 July 2026 at 3:48pm, we had the honour of being able to interview evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins.

The following is a transcript of our conversation.

3:48pm. 

Honky: Firstly, thank you for meeting with us to do this interview. I understand that your schedule was busy, but I’m grateful that God found a way for us meet. 

Dawkins: Don’t say that. 

Honky: Oh, I’m not grateful that we had the chance to meet. 

Honky: I understand that you consider yourself somewhat of a zoologist, but you don’t consider yourself a cryptozoologist. Could you please elaborate on why for our listeners at home. 

Dawkins: Whatever do you mean? I follow the scientific method and cryptozoology seems to be nothing more than speculation. 

Honky: But speculation is a crucial part of science is it not? Forming a hypothesis and testing it out? 

Dawkins: Yes, but no one tests out hypotheses on whether certain animals exist, it’s preposterous. Animals are discovered, not chased after. You don’t see scientists conducting expeditions to prove unicorns exist. They survey biomes and find within those biomes previously undiscovered animals that have made it their habitat.

Boof: We like to think that we do the same. 

Dawkins: When on earth did you enter the room? 

Honky: Oh hey Boof, didn’t think you’d make it. 

Boof: What do you mean? I’ve been here the whole time. 

Boof opens a can of Rivets but leaves it open without drinking it. 

Boof: Go on, I’m listening. 

Honky: Right well, as one scientist to another, I have serious critiques about-

Dawkins: I don’t consider you a scientist. 

Silence. Boof proceeds to drink the Rivet while making loud slurps.

Honky: Okay well, than as an informed individual (me) to a less informed individual (you), I think that’s a flawed way to view the world-

Dawkins: What is this? Why are you framing this conversation as a Socratic dialogue? I’m not Plato who is going to say yes Socrates to everything you say. 

Honky: Ah well, it’s interesting you mention Socrates as he is also a cryptic figure. 

Dawkins: What are you talking about?

Boof: Nah dude, he’s right. Plato used the figure of Socrates as a tool to progress ideas, it’s a fact. Check it out on Reddit. 

Honky: Boof, pull that up please. 

Boof: Fuck off, I’m not Jamie. Richard, pull that up. 

Dawkins proceeds to get up, throw his microphone to the floor and leave the room. 

Boof: Honky, pull that up. 

Interview ends at 3:50pm.

Boof and Honky continue to use the room for another 20 minutes searching for reddit creepy pasta’s that they can adapt into the next big horror film.