YOWIEHUB

Two researchers have cracked an age-old puzzle about Yowie punctuality

There’s a common frustration amongst Yowie field workers: their Yowie subjects are always late. Most Yowie scientists accept this as a cost of their chosen profession, but a new study sheds light on exactly how and why this happens. The article Belated Yowie timekeeping and bottom-up arithmetic proposes a mathematical theory for why Yowies are always late and tells researchers what they can do about it. “It’s an incredible discovery” says Dr Matt Hu a Yowie scientist at the University of Wollongong who is not affiliated with the new article. “The direct consequences of this article are huge” says Drew, “it’s going to change how all Yowie field work is done.”

How to count like a Yowie

According to the new article, Yowie lateness is a consequence of Yowie bottom-up mathematics. The bottom-up philosophy was previously documented in Yowie writing and societal structure. Until now, it was unknown if or how the bottom-up philosophy affects Yowie mathematics. However, close observational study and mathematical reasoning have shown that Yowies start counting from negative ten instead of the usual one used by us humans. Dr James Forester, one of the study’s authors, noticed that when Yowies count, they begin with all ten of the fingers outstretched. Then, they move their fingers down going from the right thumb to the left. Initially James thought that this was related to Yowies right hand dominance but then he met the mathematician Sarah Khan.

An unlikely collaboration

Dr Sarah Khan wasn’t always a fan of Yowies. “To be honest, they still intimidate me a little bit” she said. Mathematics on the other hand, was always Sarah’s focus. Sarah and James met at the University of New England’s social running club’s track workout. When James told Sarah about the way Yowies count on their fingers, she immediately thought that they weren’t counting down from ten but rather they were counting up from some other number. After the track workout, she went back to her office and thought about how our familiar number system would change if we were counting up from minus ten.

Why Yowies are always late

The framework of bottom-up mathematics explains why Yowie subjects are always late to meet field workers. When a Yowie texts a human “see you in ten”, they are referring to a Yowie positive ten which is a human twenty. After Sarah told James about bottom-up mathematics, James did another study and found that Yowies are very punctual once you do the conversion. “It was magical” says James, “I would say “see you in zero” and ten minutes later, there the Yowie was.” The study also contains an appendix explaining why Yowies are often mad when they get their compensation at the end of a study. You would be too if you got ten fewer figs.

YOWIEHUB is not affiliated with the University of Wollongong, the University of New England or the University of New England social running club.